Wino

So we spent the weekend in Santa Rosa, where we drove basically from one end of wine country to the other, and toured the vampire castle/winery (highly reminiscent of that fantastic and crucial tent pole of popular culture- Kindred: The Embraced, about vampire winemakers in the Napa valley, I highly recommend it, especially if you're a fan of fluffy early 90's hair and absurdism. ANYWAY). And we also went wine tasting, but I've concluded that all reds taste the same to me. Except port. Port is like, fermented maple syrup mixed with Care Bear pee.
We learned many important things on this trip. One: screen doors are often tricky to find in the dark after a wine party.
Two: R2D2 loves to cuddle.
Three: Zim will ruin any group photo, unless you happen to catch him in a rare moment of normalcy.
Four: GI Joe Monopoly is awesome. But I still hate Monopoly.
We managed to avoid hangovers on day 2 and headed for the redwood forest, Bodega Bay, and finished in Petaluma, eating pizza in a former whorehouse. Which I don't have any pictures of, because it's not super exciting without like, Deadwood-type people roaming the halls in period costume.
Oh and five: Antiquing while drunk is terrifying. All of the old stuff takes on a very nightmarish quality.
Oh and six: Do trespass on vineyards. But have Zim with you, so he can charm the security guard. You'll still get kicked out of the vineyard, but you'll get realllly pretty pictures. Of the vineyard. Not of the security guard.
Also, this happened:
Security Guard: You guys like bulls?
Us (trying not to get arrested): Absolutely! Yes! Whatever! (God I hope he's talking about cows)
Security Guard: Okay, follow me!
Us: Okay! (God I hope we don't get chopped up and fed to pigs)
The (as it turns out extremely nice) security guard then had us follow him by car to the farm near the winery, where he introduced us to three very cute, stinky cows. I love California. It's sunny and there are wineries. And bulls.