The horrors of modern art

Here's some of the commissioned public art we saw scattered around various Paris sights. Unlike most of the illegal street art which is often gritty, spontaneous and therefore more intriguing, the commissioned stuff we saw was never quite as successful and often intrusive. Like the Giant Foil Heads encircling the prettiest fountain in the Tulieries:

That's the Louvre in the background.

I hope you like your public parks with 20-foot disco balls:

Actually I think every setting could benefit from the addition of a disco ball.

Versailles was both the worst and best place for this phenomenon. A bunch of artists were commissioned to add their own touch to the most opulent palace and grounds in Western Europe, and it was largely hideous. I tried to angle most pictures to exclude the wrinkly orange naked man sculptures, giant purple balls on sticks (hmmm), and mobiles made out of boring stuff like string and sheet metal.

This sculpture however, is freaking genius. It was about the size of a Barbie doll, standing on the top of a pillar elevated so the statue is looking out over the new $5 million gold-plated gates at the exit from Versailles. Romantic, lonely, etc etc.

Most Greek statues look like Michael Cera

Ben fangirl-ing in front of the Mona Lisa. This was the closest we were able to get.


Upon first glance I thought this was a bust of a cocker spaniel. Sideburn Sensei.


I'm in ur woodz, stealin ur bowz


Cupids are terrifying. That being said, I think this painting is kind of hot.


We were the only people in the Versailles gardens at 8am. Posing contest!


I've really got to work on my contrapasso.

The Abbott Suger would disapprove:


"Hey Suger, I have a confession to make..."


"...I clubbed a baby hydra to death, and I LIKED it!"


Sad Panda.


And then I realized that most Greek statues bear a striking resemblance to Michael Cera.

Paris Street Art

One thing about Paris that was drastically different from our first visit 9 years ago is the prevalence of street art. Ben's theory is that Parisians are surrounded by and inured to a conventional beauty representative of an aristocracy that no longer exists, and as a result are constantly looking for ways to subvert or reinvent the definition of art. I think he's a beautiful genius, but anyway. Or maybe street art is more noticeable when you're a gawky tourist and the art is attached to or in front of buildings that the average American associates with fairytales, royalty, and other such exotica that we are so deprived of in our condo-blighted Mall of Americaness. ANYWAY. Sorry. Done now. Onward...

So almost every major tourist site we visited had a modern art installation, whether it was authorized or not. The majority is of the crude 1980's tagging variety which Ben hates, but I secretly think it's kind of apocalyptic and awesome when someone scrawls all over pretty white marble. Let's start with the tagging:


Repeat ad infinitum. But look up in the lefthand corner!


It's INVADER!


INVADER is super prolific. We found a lot of his stuff without even trying, and a lot more we couldn't photograph because it was too high up or zooming past as we rode the trains.


Most of his stuff is little tile space invaders, but he also uses bricks, legos, and plastic milk crates.


The lock thingy at the top is part of a large spontaneous installation that runs the length of a beautiful pedestrian-only bridge between the Louvre and Orsay museums.


It's a cheesy but photogenic tourist thing: write or carve the name of yourself and your loved ones on a lock and attach it to the bridge, and you will reunite one day in Paris or some such nonsense. I do hope Jacobo and Susana are still together, because their names are lovely.


Rough translation: Something pushed me to wander the streets


Will there be a tomorrow?