Wino

So we spent the weekend in Santa Rosa, where we drove basically from one end of wine country to the other, and toured the vampire castle/winery (highly reminiscent of that fantastic and crucial tent pole of popular culture- Kindred: The Embraced, about vampire winemakers in the Napa valley, I highly recommend it, especially if you're a fan of fluffy early 90's hair and absurdism. ANYWAY). And we also went wine tasting, but I've concluded that all reds taste the same to me. Except port. Port is like, fermented maple syrup mixed with Care Bear pee.
We learned many important things on this trip. One: screen doors are often tricky to find in the dark after a wine party.
Two: R2D2 loves to cuddle.
Three: Zim will ruin any group photo, unless you happen to catch him in a rare moment of normalcy.
Four: GI Joe Monopoly is awesome. But I still hate Monopoly.
We managed to avoid hangovers on day 2 and headed for the redwood forest, Bodega Bay, and finished in Petaluma, eating pizza in a former whorehouse. Which I don't have any pictures of, because it's not super exciting without like, Deadwood-type people roaming the halls in period costume.
Oh and five: Antiquing while drunk is terrifying. All of the old stuff takes on a very nightmarish quality.
Oh and six: Do trespass on vineyards. But have Zim with you, so he can charm the security guard. You'll still get kicked out of the vineyard, but you'll get realllly pretty pictures. Of the vineyard. Not of the security guard.
Also, this happened:
Security Guard: You guys like bulls?
Us (trying not to get arrested): Absolutely! Yes! Whatever! (God I hope he's talking about cows)
Security Guard: Okay, follow me!
Us: Okay! (God I hope we don't get chopped up and fed to pigs)
The (as it turns out extremely nice) security guard then had us follow him by car to the farm near the winery, where he introduced us to three very cute, stinky cows. I love California. It's sunny and there are wineries. And bulls.

On a boat!

Our first trip to Northern CA started with a mini-roadtrip from OAK to Santa Rosa, In-n-Out Burger (milkshakes: gooood. Otherwise a waste for vegetarians), then hiking to Table Rock.


... There was a big rock.


Like a reallly big rock.


I hiked SIX MILES. With relatively minimal whining and (almost) no crying. A lot of cursing.


It was pretty, I guess. If you're into that sort of thing.


I had to spend a lot of time trying to convince Ben and Katie that they are not mountain goats. I failed.

Then. THEN. We spent the night on Katie's dad's sailboat near Oakland. And we took all the standard mediocre tourist pictures except I didn't bring my camera so here are the even more mediocre cameraphone versions.




And then we partied with T-Pain on the boat. And by T-Pain, I mean Luke.


Um, close enough.






We tried to think of what we would name our boats. Luke: Watery Grave. Katie: Tophat Fish (she was very insistent that said boat would have an illustration of a fish wearing a top hat, you know, just in case people didn't get it). Ben: Top Half Fish (my husband, everyone!). Me: Pants-less Disco.



Then we went into the city and pigged out at Baker & Banker. How can you tell if you're in the Bay Area? If their bakeries have Twitter-themed cakes:


And then we walked around and oogled the real estate for awhile:


It was pretty nuts. Even the tiniest details like the doorknobs and outdoor lighting were really ornate.




More wandering:






And we also walked about halfway across the Golden Gate Bridge, which was a bucket-list item for me. I've seen that bridge destroyed by aliens/earthquakes/Jerry Bruckheimer in the movies so many times I just had to see it in person.

This was our house

Just for a weekend... Sigh...

Geeking out in the Wizarding World

This is going to be long, sorry...

So my dog's name is Albus, which automatically puts me in the 'too nerdy to function' category of Harry Potter fangirl-dom, but whatever, I'm 30 and no longer care that I may have possibly been a little teary when I walked under this archway for the first time:

Please respect the spell limits. (Too nerdy to function)


So the park far, far exceeded even my wildest expectations, and because it was the day after the superbowl and cloudy and cold, it was empty. Like walk straight on to every ride empty, hang out in the (also empty) pubs and have actual conversations with employees empty. God bless America and their stupid hangover holidays, amirite?!


The Wizarding World is tiny. It's 3 rides and 1 street. It's so small there's only 1 set of restrooms (and Moaning Myrtle lives in them and constantly flushes the toilets). My family are avid theme park tourists and big Disney fans, yet after about an hour we unanimously agreed that despite it's size, the Wizarding World blows Disney completely out of the water.

I have no idea who that guy is.

First off-- the feature ride, Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey, is amazing. Because to get to the ride, you have to enter here...


... and wind around and inside through Hogwarts, and it looks exactly like the movies and books. This pretty much melted my (already mostly melted) brain, so all of my pictures are dark and wobbly because my hands were shaking.


The walls throughout are covered in paintings, and well over half of the paintings were moving and talking. I expected that they'd just be video screens in frames, which they are, but they've done something subtle with the screens and it's seamless and crazy real. I stood in front of one for awhile and thought it was just a painting, but then the subject blinked and cleared her throat. Most of the paintings have conversations and enter and exit each others' frames.


Okay so this is a really bad picture and I'm about to get crazy nerdy(nerdier), but:



It's Helga Hufflepuff, and she has her cup! In the single rider line you pass the four portraits of the heads of the houses, which are kind of in a corner and hard to see but to me these portraits were a Big Deal (and are probably about to be a big deal in the last movie). They're arguing about something and then lapse into still silence, which is why a lot of people in the line seemed to miss them. Or, I am the only one who cared (do you have second-hand embarrassment for me yet?).



Then you walk through Dumbledore's office which also has the pensieve, walls of glass-front cabinets full of little instruments, and Dumbledore shows up and starts to prepare you for the Forbidden Journey.



At one point you wind up in a classroom so full of stuff to look at that nobody pays attention to Hermione, who shows up with Harry and Ron and tries to explain the ride. I rode the Forbidden Journey four times and I can't tell you what the plot of the ride is. Ron tries to cast a spell and makes it 'snow' (foam) over the people in line.


And then the fat lady's portrait welcomes you to the Gryffindor common room:


And after about half a mile of walking (did I mention at one point there were greenhouses?) we finally end up in the Great Hall (floating candles and all) and are strapped into this bench/open car-thing for the ride. It's a combination flight simulator and tour through the castle-- first Hermione casts a flying spell (green smoke fills your car), then you enter the flight simulator, following Harry and Ron on their brooms zooming around outside Hogwarts, then Hagrid lets a dragon loose and it chases you, then you're pulled out of the flight simulator into the actual castle, where the dragon breathes fire (hot steam) into your car, then spiders spit poison on you and then you're back in the flight simulator playing quidditch and OMG IT'S DRACO! HI DRACO! and then dementors suck your breath and take your picture and project it onto steam or something and the Whomping Willow kicks your ass and you're laughing and screaming and maybe peeing a little and then it's over. About half of us got sick. And then we went again.

And then we had butterbeer in the Hog's Head!



It's basically fancy cream soda with a foamy butterscotch/marshmallow head. Totally addictive; we had 3 that day alone and lamented the lack of butterbeer for the remainder of the non-wizard trip.

The Hog's Head and  the Three Broomsticks are sort of inside the same building, but the Three Broomsticks is bigger and serves pub food, and the Hog's Head is gloomier and serves beer including the Hog's Head microbrew (it's okay). Beer is another reason why Harry Potter land is awesome.



The theming throughout the park is crazy consistent, even more so than Disney's Animal Kingdom which up until now was our favorite park theme-wise. There are no external brands or real-world corporate logos anywhere-- no Coke or Pepsi served in the pubs, for instance-- no 'this-ride-is-sponsored-by' nonsense, etc. I bought a scarf and signed my receipt with a feather quill (just feathers glued to a pen, but such a cute touch!). In particular, the shops sell all of the candy and most of the joke and magical merchandise referenced in the books.

Like sneakoscopes and remembralls:


And Honeydukes is wow:



Chocolate Frogs:


Also chocolate wands, chocolate cauldrons, Fizzing Whizzbees (bee-shaped chocolate covered Pop Rocks, I think) and Bertie Bot's Every Flavour Beans.



The street is lined with shops (some real, some fake), the highlights being Ollivander's and Dervish and Banges. Ollivander's is straight-up childhood wish-fulfillment.


They let about 20 people into the shop at a time, and then the shop employee (fully in character as Ollivander) picks a guest out of the audience and reenacts the entire scene from the first movie/book where Harry gets his wand. Of course--of COURSE-- he chooses me, even though I'm standing right next to an 11-year-old in full wizard costume. I begged him to choose a kid instead. He says "Oh, I believe I did." It was hilarious and embarrassing. I had to do a few 'spells' as instructed (causing it to thunder and lightning and ring a bell) and after a few tries I ended up with the right wand, and then a golden spotlight lit me up while a choir sang. About half the audience was filming/taking pictures of the whole thing. Urgh...

Then you can go next door to Dervish and Banges and buy your wand,


and your Monster Book of Monsters,


and the latest issue of the Quibbler (an employee gave me Luna's glasses to wear; they were sparkly).


You can mail letters from the Owl Post stamped with a Hogsmeade address.




The Dragon Challenge is a big double rollercoaster with a Triwizard Tournament theme:






You have a choice between 2 coasters (the Hungarian Horntail or the Chinese Fireball) and each has a slightly different track. This is probably the most intense ride in the entire park (even more so than the Hulk coaster in the superhero section of Universal) so I could only ride it once without horfing.

I like her shirt:


This baby Harry was too quick to photograph properly, but ACK SO CUTE:


I didn't get a picture of the 50-something gentleman wearing a Bellatrix shirt, but trust me, he was there.



The employees of Hogsmeade/Hogwarts are also a huge asset for the park. They are well-cast and clearly still really, really excited about their jobs. Most were making heroic attempts at British accents. It was adorable and fun. Highlights include the cashier in Honeydukes who told me and my fellow Slytherin brother-in-law that "We don't serve your kind in here" (we were wearing scarves), the employees in Ollivander's (many of whom should enter the beard/mustache Olympics), and the Hogwarts' students, who stayed stubbornly in character even when someone didn't get the joke and loudly remarked that the Slytherin kids were rude. Actually, it would be great to be cast as a Slytherin. You could never get in trouble for having a bad day.





A few interesting omissions: there's absolutely no reference to Voldemort or the Death Eaters in the park, short of a Voldemort hand puppet for sale in one of the shops (a hand puppet??). House elves also don't seem to merit a mention (thank God). And if you want to buy any Hufflepuff merchandise (not sure why anyone would, har har) you are out of luck.


And a huge thanks to my awesome husband and in-laws, who put up with me and my unreasonable fan-induced hysteria for the entire day. You guys are the best.


Oh and I have more pictures. Of course I have more pictures. They are here.